Perfection in a Pearl
by Sailor Panda
Summary: He had traded one life for another. Now all he had left to show for it was a perfect single pearl. Written for the InuYasha Fanfiction Challenge LJ community, Scars oneshot.


A single pearl was his most beloved treasure.

He stood in the night and the presence of that pearl, to him, overpowered all else around him in that moment. Once told long ago that it was an imperfect thing compared to the potential of what it could be, during his ensuing travels since that time he had never come across its beauty duplicated in another. His pearl was unique and, to him, his imperfect pearl was perfect.

He had it with him always, would never let it go. For so long, it was his companion, his talisman in the deepest of dark or the brightest light of day. It was a piece of the cherished past, reminder of the man he had once been.

Now it was part of the man he had become.

A single pearl was his most beloved treasure. And that treasure he held close in careful cradling palm, just as it held within it the sweet and bitter memories of the past that could not be let go and a cherished recollection that echoed with silent laughter….

_He held a single pearl in his hands and looked up into smiling eyes. And the smiling eyes put forth a question to which he could not help but respond._

"_So what do you think?"_

"_Honestly? I've never seen anything quite like it before. It's so…round."_

"_Er, yeah. I suppose it is."_

"_It's a perfect sphere. And the color is…"_

"_Black." _

"_Well…"_

"_That's just what these types of pearls are classified as – black pearls. Though, personally, I'm with you on this one. I think it's more of a dark grey shimmering with other colors rather than actually being black." _

"_Quite so."_

"_Amazing, isn't it? Granted, I'm not much of a pearl connoisseur myself, but I think it's beautiful even if the guy who gave it to my grandfather said it wasn't worth as much as he would have liked."_

"_Out of curiosity, Kagome-sama, how much would this be worth?"_

"_Well, Grandfather said the guy was mumbling something about it being a worthless loose C-grade pearl so…maybe around thirty-two thousand yen."_

"_WHAT? For…for one pearl?"_

"_Uh, now, Miroku-sama. That's just in my time. There's been a lot of inflation in between this time and mine and, if I were better at math and feudal monetary history, I'd do a conversion for you."_

"_Kagome-sama, I think you should take this back. What if I lost it?"_

"_It's okay. Since it wasn't purchased, it's not that big of a deal. It was just a gift given by a grateful patron paranoid about his karmic luck. And since it was Grandfather giving him the luck, I think that guy should still be paranoid but, hey, I don't really have any say in it." _

"_Even so…"_

"_I repeat – it's okay. It's a cultured pearl so it's not as rare in my time as you might think."_

"_Cultured?"_

"_Oh, right. I forgot that discovery doesn't happen for another four-hundred years. But by my time most of the pearls that are sold are cultured – cultivated by man by what I think was called a nucleating process. I don't know a whole lot about the details of it, but I do know that it's made pearl cultivation a thousand times easier to do. Plus, it's a lot easier to get a perfect round pearl than through the natural process where the pearl's usually got some kind of imperfection." _

"_So this one's a perfect pearl then? You should definitely take it back."_

"_Well, from what that pearl guy told Grandfather, that's still not a perfect pearl. As far as black pearls go, this one is fairly imperfect compared to the rest. That's probably why he gave it up as a gift so easily. From what little I know, there's all kinds of pearls ranging from white to black and black pearls have some sort of grading system based on the different luster they have. Apparently this one's fairly average. A single loose pearl with a better grade could cost up to ten times as much."_

_He was speechless at the thought._

"_Yeah, I find it hard to believe too. But, compared to here, pearls are fairly easy to be had where I'm from. Mom even has two sets of pearl jewelry, one of white pearls and another one in black that she said Dad gave her as a thank-you gift when I was born."_

"_Well, Kagome-sama. I think you're worth the cost. Obviously, your father did too."_

"_Oh, please. You're such a flatter. But, it's still a nice thought, so thanks."_

"_You're welcome." A pause. "So, Kagome-sama, do I get a pearl as a thank-you as well?"_

"_Hmm…I guess that depends. Do you really want one?" _

"_I- Kagome-sama, I was merely joking. I didn't mean-"_

"_I know you didn't. But I do."_

"_But I can't. It's too expensive."_

"_Since when has that stopped you? You took those bolts of silk offered by that merchant we saved easily enough."_

"_But that's different. I didn't know him."_

"_So you'll take expensive gifts from a stranger but not from someone you know?"_

"_Know and like as well. There's a difference."_

"_Miroku-sama, you really crack me up sometimes."_

"_Ah, my apologies. I didn't mean to cause you any pain on my part."_

"_Eh? Oh, no. That's not what I- Ah, never mind. Look, Miroku-sama. My brother and grandfather aren't interested in gemstones and my mom has two different matched sets of pearls. Even I've got some cheaper pale pearls of my own, not that I wear much jewelry or even have anyplace to wear them to. I don't need this and, even if I did want to wear it as something, I'd have to get it mounted as either a ring or a pendant since anything else would require me to find other pearls of the same type…and that takes even more money that I'm not interested in spending. About the only thing I can do with it right now is take it out of its little velvet bag and stare at its prettiness." _

"_I thought women liked pretty things."_

"_They do. I do. But I also like to share as well. Even Mom gave me the okay to take it and show to everyone. She thought it would be nice since something like this isn't usually seen in this era."_

"_Well, you could share it with the others. Sango or Inuyasha-"_

"_Sango still hasn't come back yet from her trip to her home village and Inuyasha…well, let's just say that after a long ago incident involving a different black pearl, a grave, and Sesshoumaru, I don't think he'd be all that thrilled with a reminder. Plus, he's off sulking somewhere after I sat him for picking on Shippou-chan. And Shippou-chan…he lost interest once he found out that it wasn't candy. Little scamp. For a while, I was worried that he'd leave teeth marks on it before he spit it out."_

"_Ah…"_

"_Don't worry. I washed it off before showing it to you."_

"_Many thanks."_

"_No problem. Now, about keeping it…"_

"_I can't."_

"_Yes, you can. I don't think there's anything you can't do when you put your mind to it, Miroku-sama."_

"_Oh, I don't know. Despite my efforts, I haven't managed to father a child yet."_

"_Pervert. Can't you make it through a conversation without bringing baby-making into it?"_

"_I could. But that wouldn't be as much fun."_

"_I give up. On that, at least. But the other…the longer we argue about it, the more stubborn I get and I'm not going to take 'no' for an answer anymore so…Miroku-sama, just keep the pearl. It even comes complete with a portable little velvet carrying case in the bargain – what more could you ask for? Consider it a gesture of friendship from my time to yours."_

"_Kagome-sama, I really can't accept-"_

"_And I'll have you know that rejecting this token of my friendship is like rejecting…well, my friendship. Surely you're not trying to hurt my feelings by doing that, are you?"_

"_You know I'm not."_

"_Aren't you? Because, and I hate to tell you this but I'm kind of hurting right now. And isn't that the direct opposite of the way you say you want me to feel? Hmm, I think I'm sensing something wrong with this picture. Fortunately, I know just the way to fix it – you keep the pearl."_

"_Kagome-sama, one question if I may?"_

"_Sure. What?"_

"_Just when did you become so skilled at emotional blackmail?"_

"_Considering the company I keep, you really have to ask? And blackmail has such ugly undertones. I prefer to think of it as giving the misguided a gentle nudge in the right direction."_

"_Ah, of course. How remiss of me."_

"_I forgive you. On one condition."_

"_Keep the pearl?"_

"_You got it. Right on the first try. For that, you get a prize and the prize is…care to take a guess?"_

"_A black pearl?"_

"_Bingo! Right in one again. Sensing a pattern yet, Miroku-sama?"_

"_I believe it's slowly coming together before me."_

"_I knew you were a smart man. A little stubborn and nonsensical at times but, overall, a smart man. And what is the smart man going to do with a certain token of friendship?"_

"_Keep it."_

"_Why, I do believe you're getting smarter by the minute."_

"_Thank you. Your confidence in me is…indescribable."_

"_Aww, don't look at me like that. It's for a good cause."_

"_The status of a pearl's ownership is a good cause?"_

"_Sure. Think of it as a friend ensuring the potential future well-being of another friend."_

"_Wise words, Kagome-sama. However, the meaning seems to elude me."_

"_Well, my gift to you is both an object of financial security and philosophical enlightenment."_

"_Really. This little pearl can do all of that?"_

"_Of course. Being you, if the situation ever calls for it, I'm sure you could swindle, er, convince someone to take it off your hands for enough payment to lift you out of potential poverty. Out of all of us, your…convincing skills are the best and I have every confidence that you'd be able to milk the most financial gain out of it even in times of direst emergencies."_

"_Kagome, sama, I feel flattered…and insulted all at once. It amazes me how you can manage to do that so often." _

"_I can't take all the credit. You've given me lots of practice."_

"_Quite so. And as touched as I am with your efforts to ensure my financial security, I must admit that I'm rather curious as to the philosophical enlightenment you mentioned."_

"_Well, every time you look at it and reflect, you can see something new. The meaning of what you see may change with the light, or even with your mood when you see what you see. You see?"_

"_Ah…of course."_

"_You don't see, do you?'_

"_No."_

"_Maybe it would be better if I demonstrated. I can tell you what I see in it and, somewhere alone the line, you'll come up with something different."_

"_And what do you see when you look at this, Kagome-sama?"_

"_Other than a black pearl?"_

"_Kagome-sama…"_

"_I know, I know. I'm getting to it so stop looking at me like that."_

"_And so?"_

"_Well, when I look at this pearl I see…us."_

"_Us?"_

"_Well, the rest of you anyway. I don't really see myself since I'm the one looking."_

"_And how do you see us in a pearl?"_

"_It's in the colors. When you hold it up to the daylight and kind of roll it around – yeah, like that! – you can see other colors swimming across the surface of it. I like looking at it in the daylight because night makes the colors fainter and harder to see, but right now they look pretty vivid to me. They all just kind of blend into each other, different colors connected within the same sphere. Like us with our different personalities and backgrounds but still connected by a common goal."_

"_So you see us as faint colors in a world of darkness."_

"_Sort of. I know what I've told you about the world being round, but even with the unavoidable badness that exists among us, that doesn't me I see this black pearl as being a figurative example of it. Why, there are different types of myths and legends surrounding the pearl all around various cultures of the world ranging from being born from the tears of angels to first being introduced among humans when a god fell in love with a princess and offered her a special black pearl as proof of his feelings. On the whole, even a black pearl is seen as a symbol of purity and perfection born from rainbows and earth offering the power of love, luck, protection, prosperity, and the gift of wisdom, a symbol of hope in a man's wounded heart."_

"_I thought you said that you had little knowledge about pearls?"_

"_Not the scientific factual stuff. The gist of myths is easier to remember, particularly since they always seem similar to other ones. And Grandfather went fanatical after he got this and did a lot of research on anything to do with black pearls and, of course, unloaded all the information onto me. I'm really only remembering a small bit of what he told me and basically everything I just said is what I got from him."_

"_Quite impressive."_

"_Not really. A lot of it dates back to this era and earlier. So I doubt any of it is really all that new to you. Still, it couldn't hurt to have a little talisman like this with us considering we could use all the luck we can get." _

"_Quite true."_

"_And it has our colors!"_

"_Ah…"_

"_You still don't see it, do you?"_

"_I'm afraid I don't."_

"_Well, look at it. It's just like holding a small piece of rainbow fallen to earth – there's so many colors, although I admit that some are more dominant than others. And those colors are the members of our group, so the pearl is like a piece of everyone. There's orange for Shippou-chan, gold for Inuyasha, that light yellow shade for Kirara, pink for Sango-chan-"_

"_Why pink?"_

"_Because she told me it's secretly her favorite color. Which probably meant I shouldn't have told you. Still, she never said not to tell anyone but, just to be on the safe side…you won't tell, will you?"_

"_Hmm, I don't see why I would. One's favorite color is hardly anything I need to say anything about."_

"_Thanks."_

"_And? What color do you see for me in this little gem?"_

"_Curious, aren't you?"_

"_I admit to a little, yes."_

"_Purple. It's a royal color and you do seem to have a preference for it."_

"_It's a nice color."_

"_I never said it wasn't."_

"_But you implied it with your tone."_

"_I did not."_

"_You did."_

"_I did not. I happen to like purple. I merely said that it's a royal color and that you have a preference for it. It suits you."_

"_And what is that supposed to mean?"_

"_You don't have to sound so suspicious. It's just that…well, if I'm remembering the color meaning chart some of my school friends are into, I believe purple symbolizes power, luxury, nobility, ambition, wisdom, mystery…and other things I can't recall at the moment. But I think those descriptions fit you pretty well too."_

"_I feel as if I should argue…but somehow I just can't."_

"_Eheh. It's just silly stuff. Sometimes these things can be fairly accurate, but there are just as many times when it's way off. I wouldn't place too much stock in it if I were you." _

"_Hmm, I suppose. Though I wonder what this color chart of yours has to say about green."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well, Kagome-sama, continuing with this line of color preferences, you do seem fond of green as you're almost always wearing it. And in this black pearl of orange, gold, yellow, pink, and purple, there lies another color that I see but that you seem to have neglected."_

"_Green, huh?"_

"_Yes. Though you say that you never saw yourself in the colors of this pearl, I see it. And I believe it would be terribly unfair an inappropriate to leave you out."_

"_Ah, it seems to have gotten serious all of a sudden. Believe me, Miroku-sama, I wasn't feeling left out. It's just…well, figuratively speaking, if that pearl really was a symbol of the world and that world was this one, I'm way out of place in it. In the scheme of things, I don't really belong. So I never really bothered with picking a color for myself."_

"_You should have. It's not right to leave yourself out."_

"_Don't look at me like that. There's no reason to get upset. All of this…it's just philosophical musings anyway. I didn't mean the discussion to get this serious."_

"_But, Kagome-sama, the direction of philosophical musings tends to draw on the path of the muser's heart. That you've seen us all within this pearl except for yourself…I think it's telling how you feel about your place among us. Do you really feel like an outsider among us, even after all this time?"_

"_I…maybe. Sometimes. I didn't realize…. Wow, subconscious messages really bite in philosophical discussions."_

"_Kagome-sama, please. No jokes." _

"_You're too serious about this, Miroku-sama. It's making me uncomfortable. Why are you arguing so hard about this anyway?"_

"_For one simple reason. A reason that you should know, because it's so obvious that I don't see how a part of you, as subconscious as it may be, can overlook it. Especially as you've been there since the formation of our combined group and will, I hope, be there until the end."_

"_And what's the reason?"_

"_Because, Kagome-sama, you're a part of us. Without you, we wouldn't be complete."_

Now he stared at the pearl and it mocked him with memories held within its perfect roundness colored darkly and shimmering faintly in overtones of dying rainbows. It shimmered with colors, fainter in the night than in the day, and it was a reminder of his failures, a reminder of his sins.

A reminder of those he had lost.

And those reminders, he did not think, could ever be forgotten.

He stood alone upon the dark land cast in shadows and too scarred for life to soon grow. He stood with pearl in his hand where another scar had once been. He stood in the midst a sea of graves, of markers scrabbling from the ground to which they were bound as they reached up to claw at the sky in skeletal droves. He stood amongst the lost and pondered the colors the pearl should have held, remembered the echoes of familiar faces faded from the past and they stared back at him from beyond a place where he could no longer reach.

He stared back at the pearl, as he had so often in times before too numerous too count. He gazed at its colors, their brightness faded in the dying light and thought that so much dimmer were its struggling lights upon the dark surface of the pearl. The orange, the gold, the yellow, the pink, and the green …he knew they were there somewhere but, buried in the shadows of night, they hid from his eyes. And amongst them as well, he knew, was a purple so faded it should have been black. Such were the colors of his pearl, an object that he was once told long ago was an imperfect thing compared to the potential of what it could be.

An imperfect pearl for an imperfect man.

For him, it was perfect.

Darkness intruded, touching his mind and distracting him with its whispering insinuations, beckoning its child to return to the fold. As if to emphasize the presence of silent commands, beneath layers of familiar robes that were no more than the tattered remains of the man he had once been, skin itched and burned as a spider's scar twitched its myriad legs.

And the web continued to spin and spin in the dark.

Hands that were whole and devoid of endless abyss clenched around his pearl, his sole reminder of the blackened past and irrevocable mistakes that he had made. It was his last refuge, a quiet world of a dead past lost, a symbol of the hole in his heart and his life that was no more than a dark pit dug deeply on tainted grounds.

He prayed to a silent Buddha he could no longer claim, but the pull of a spider's black sticky strings were always in motion and could not be ignored. He bowed in unspoken farewell to those he must leave behind and, knowing he would return again, he turned and walked away from the sea of graves, clutching his world in his hand.

A single pearl was his most beloved treasure.

A single black pearl.


End file.
